No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
