well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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