once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
