I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
