Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
4 words: hood of his car
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
