My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
