We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
