Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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