I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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