I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
