My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
