Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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