I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
