Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Bring me that man meat
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
