Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
