Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
