Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
