My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
