Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
