Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
