I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
