I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Randomize
