thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
