You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
