Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
