Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
