Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
