You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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