dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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