ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
