if only i could text you this smell
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
