Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
