im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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