please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you never un-have a 4some
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
