I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
