So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
