i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
