i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
In America we eat man semen.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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