yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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