I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
