look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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