There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
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