Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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