it wasn't lemon gatorade
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
