you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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