So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
