dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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