My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
