last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just want nice things and good sex
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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