u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
